Linguistic Faux Pas Know No Bounds
by Rebecca Falkoff
It makes sense that linguistic errors would be the most common sort of faux pas. In every letter, in every syllable and in every word lurks the possibility for disaster. In fact, verbal gaffes, no matter how embarrassing, are part of what makes learning a language so interesting.
Pronounce It "Chen" Not "Chen"
In Mandarin Chinese, the real trick is to learn the accent. If the word is not pronounced perfectly, it will make no sense. One day, I was going to meet an engineer named Mr. Chen. The name looks simple enough, but to be sure, I asked a bilingual lady whether I was pronouncing his name correctly before going to meet him.
"No," she said, "It's pronounced Chen."
"Chen?" I asked.
"No, no. Not Chen, Chen," she said.
"Chen," I said confidently.
"No," she said, "Not Chen. It's Chen."
"Chen?"
"Not Chen, but Chen."
"Chen?"
"No. It's Chen."
This continued until I gave up.
International Career Columnist sympathizes: I'm glad you gave up, because that dialogue can drag on. Often, when learning a new language, you must decide whether to pretend you understand or keep at it until you know you understand. I sympathize with your struggles to get the pronunciation right, since I'm still working on the French "u" and "ou" sounds.
The next faux pas involves a French word pronounced perfectly. Unfortunately for the confused French listener, the speaker was using English.
Yes, We Do Not Understand
I was once in a meeting in France with my distributor who spoke very little English and a prospective customer who spoke no English. I don't speak French. The distributor was translating back and forth as the prospective customer and I attempted to discuss the product's technical aspects.
On one particular subject, we went back and forth for about 20 minutes, neither of us understanding the questions and answers. Finally, out of frustration I responded, "We don't understand." The customer and translator replied, "Oui? Don't understand?" That tangent took another five minutes to straighten out.
International Career Columnist suggests: Next time you hold a meeting where no common language is spoken, I recommend you hire a qualified translator.
The Mysterious Tasty Todger
My international faux pas is only made more shameful by the fact that the language I bungled was my own. When in London on my first business trip some time ago, I wandered into a department store. While perusing, I noticed a product in the men's section called "Tasty Todger." It was brightly colored, and I couldn't figure out what it was. I gave it no thought until I was at the front check out. A sweet British girl of about 16 was ringing me up, and I figured she could tell me. I asked what a todger was. She turned red, nearly burst into tears and fled. From across the room, a laughing woman about 70 shouted at me, "It's the male nether regions, luv."
I still don't know what the heck kind of product Tasty Todger was, nor am I sure I even want to know. I never did get to apologize to the young clerk -- she never returned to the counter.
International Career Columnist contemplates: Whatever a Tasty Todger could be, it doesn't sound like it should be in a department store.
You Might Not Want to Just Nod and Agree
I was an English teacher in a small town's preschool near Hiroshima. Being in a rural area, I was often the source of intense curiosity. One of my 4-year-old students, although extremely bright, was intimidated by this big-nosed, white foreigner, and his mother routinely had to sit with him in our English classes.
One day after class at the beginning of my stay in Japan, the boy came back into the classroom crying and saying something in Japanese. I didn't understand what he was saying, but the fact that he was coming to me in need made me feel like I had finally broken down his wall of fear. Feeling good about this and proud of myself, I called him over and lightly patted him on his back saying some of the few comforting words of Japanese I knew. "It's OK; it's OK. It's just fine," I told him in Japanese.
He seemed to calm down a bit, but then one of the Japanese teachers rushed in and exclaimed "Teacher Paul, watch out!" as she pointed to the floor. I looked down and realized why the kid had been crying. He had needed to urinate but didn't know where the toilet was. So in consoling him, I had essentially been telling him, "It's OK, you can go right here. No problem."
International Career Columnist grieves: What a great story.
But sometimes it is wise to pretend you understand something -- it could save your from hours of repeating "Chen." Other times it can be disastrous. But one thing is sure: Whether you ask for an explanation or just nod and agree, you are never safe from linguistic faux pas.
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