Italian Language Faux Pas
by Rebecca Falkoff
Some of the most embarrassing faux pas involve only words. In Italian, seemingly benign words become odd and inappropriate. Anther difficulty with the language is that even if you speak it perfectly, you could find yourself spewing out vulgarities in a local dialect.
In Italian, words are pronounced as they are written, but it can be difficult for novices to distinguish between double and single consonants. This can be embarrassing when students confuse words like anno (year) and ano (anus).
Another confusing aspect of Italian is gender. Some words have very different meanings in their feminine and masculine forms. This is all fine and well when it comes to words like la frutta (fruit, as in an apple or pear) and il frutto (fruit, as in the fruit of labor). But mixing up gender could cause a stir when it comes to words like la pena (pain) and il pene (penis).
A third difficulty is that some words have different meanings when an accent is added. One example is papa (pope) which becomes papŕ (father).
A Creative Way to Attract More Clients
After having lived in Milan for 12 years, a few faux pas were bound to surface. The most embarrassing one involved my boss. I was working as an international sales manager for a fur fashion company. My boss gave me my first major project: to organize our participation at the largest fur fair in the world. I was also responsible for setting up the stand.
In my excitement and newly acquired confidence in speaking Italian, I dashed out a proposal for how to make our stand shine at the fair. I commenced by saying that several trees, perhaps Benjamin fig trees, would be nice around the stand and attract more clients.
Many words in Italian are similar to those in English. So, in my proposal I wrote, "sarebbe bello di avere tante fighe intorno lo stand." I later learned that the word for figs is fichi, not fighe. What I had written was, "It would be nice to have several prostitutes around the stand to attract more clients."
Prego Doesn't Mean Pregnant
A friend of mine worked at a hospital emergency room on an American military base in Italy. American medical folks tend to refer to pregnant women as "pregos." They might say something like, "Heads up, folks! We got an inbound prego, five centimeters dilated," meaning they need to prepare to deliver a baby. An Italian nurse came to work with them and got a funny look on her face every time they used the expression. Prego means ready in Italian, but it was the local euphemism for prostitute. Basically, the nurse thought the Americans were referring to all these pregnant women as whores, and it was setting her on edge. When she finally explained it to them, the ER chief immediately banned the use of the term for anything other than its Italian usages.
Sweeping up the Faux Pas
Scopare, the Italian verb "to sweep" is also a vulgar way of saying "to have sex." In context, you can always tell the difference. But as an unsuspecting foreigner, it can be easy to forget the double entendre.
One day, I was cleaning my apartment in Milan when my roommate came home. "What are you doing?" he asked when he saw me sweeping. "I'm sweeping," I responded, falling into his trap. "You like to sweep?" he asked, fighting laughter. "Sometimes it's necessary," I replied. I noticed he was chuckling and realized he was making fun of me.
Some People Like Their Pasta Green
I was the lone female military officer stationed at a NATO air base in Northern Italy. One night while out to dinner with five Italian Air Force colleagues, I ordered penne verde. They all started laughing, including the waitress. Fabbiano, my good friend, stopped laughing long enough to coach me. "Your pronunciation was perfect, but the accent was wrong," he said. "You should say 'penné verde' if you want pasta verde. Péne verde is a green penis." That was the one and only time I ever made that mistake.
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