Send in Your Faux Pas The Monster Work Abroad would like to thank those of you who have submitted your stories of international cultural misunderstandings. We only have space for a few horror stories in this column, but keep them coming because we will run a new Faux Pas column during the last week of every month. Share your pain online. Or e-mail your stories to: internationalnews@monster.com

English is undoubtedly the language of globalization -- some would even say there is no runner up. In a recent Monster.com Work Abroad Poll we asked, "Apart from English, what language will be most important in the global marketplace?" Twenty percent of respondents said English is the only language needed to communicate. As the language sails its way around the globe, linguistic faux pas proliferate in its wake.

But native speakers commit many English faux pas. Anglophones are renowned for their tendency to forget that English resounds from Albania to Zimbabwe.

How to Spot an Aussie

My boyfriend and I are Australian. While traveling in Europe, we decided to change our travelers' checks in Venice. My boyfriend, who has brown hair, was wearing a Hawaiian-style shirt from Bali. In the exchange agency I overheard an American comment that he suspected we were Australian, because of the Bali shirt. I was impressed the American was able to pick up on our origin so accurately. But then, to my surprise, his companion replied, "I don't know. I don't think anyone has brown hair in Australia."

International career columnist seeks clarification: Is he really a brown-haired Australian? I will refrain from babbling about the vileness of stereotypes, especially since you can indeed make educated guesses about where people come from based on appearance. If I see a group of high school students at the Louvre Museum sporting Invicta backpacks and sunglasses propped precociously on their foreheads, I suspect they are Italian. Often, I am right. Often I am not.

Taxis, Trump and Turkey Trains

While studying Chinese, I had many opportunities to practice. In Taipei, I had to catch a taxi to the train station. When I got in the cab, I said confidently in Mandarin, "Hwo Ji Jan," which means, "turkey station," instead of "Hwo Che Jan," which means "train station." The driver was perplexed. I repeated myself in a loud and commanding voice: "Hwo Ji Jan!" The driver stared at me like I was crazy. I whipped out pen and paper and wrote the appropriate characters in Chinese, adding for good measure "Choo-choo!" The driver looked at me, then at the character, and said, "Ah, train station!"

International Career Columnist comments: Learning a language is a humbling endeavor. You might stumble upon the turkey station dozens of times before you arrive at the train station, but the only way to learn is to keep working on it.

You Never Know Who Speaks English Well

While sightseeing in Hong Kong, I became hopelessly lost. I approached a police officer and asked for directions to my hotel in broken English. He gave me a funny look, so I asked him whether he spoke English. He answered, with a perfect Oxford accent, "Of course I do sir, and from what I just heard, apparently better than you."

International Columnist ponders: Travelers are often confronted with the philosophical quandary of whether or not to speak in loud, slow, broken English when approaching people on the street. My take on the matter is that unless you are certain the person you are addressing knows next to no English, you should speak clearly and politely. You should not resort to the kind of language distortion that would lead to a comment like the one above.

Leave It to the Matchmaker

My landlady invited me out for dinner and theater. She was trying to set me up with another tenant. During the intermission, I asked the nice young man "Where do you leave?" I should have asked, "Where do you live?" This pronunciation mistake became a joke, and he even mentioned it in a speech at our wedding six months later.

International career columnist sighs: I suppose nosy landlords are not so bad after all.

Your mistake is not so bad. English words like "live," "lives," "life," "leave" and "leaf" are no easy matter. At least you did not ask, "Why do you live?" or "When do you leave?" Your husband would probably agree that pronunciation mistakes are often endearing. It is nice to know that international faux pas can lead anywhere from umbrage to marriage.