Summary

	Sometimes problems can't be resolved and it's time to come home.
	Be aware of culture shock and how to work through it.
	Don't blame yourself if things don't work out.

Halfway through the flight you realize you forgot your suitcase…You arrive to find that your destination is a terrible surreal land and nothing like what you expected…

Before You Go Here are several steps you can take before you head overseas to prepare for your experience abroad and the difficulties you may face: Who Are You, Anyway? This is probably good advice for anyone, not just those planning to work or study abroad: Think about who you are, what you like and what you're good at. This little tip sounds so simple, but it's a good idea to think long and hard about who you see yourself as before moving to another country. What Do You Want? Think carefully about why you want to go abroad, what you expect to gain from your experience, and what you hope to accomplish. Do Your Research Find out as much as you can about what your life will be like in your new country. It sounds petty, but an hour-long commute or a room with inadequate light can become incredibly frustrating, and it's much better to be aware of these and other difficulties before you encounter them. Talk to people who have worked in the country and find out as much as you can about the details of their experiences. Stock up on Advil Don't count on being able to buy things like your favorite brand of painkillers or cookies. Bring any products that you know you can't live without. Learn to Live without 24-Hour Convenience And, if you've already learned to live with Urbanfetch, Kozmo.com or whatever Internet delivery service your city has, learn to live without that, too. Be prepared to be patient; It's a necessary virtue in all facets of life abroad. For example, in many third-world countries the term, "surfing the Web" has little, if any, meaning. If the public transportation, Internet connection and government offices in the country are known to run at a snail's pace, don't fight it. You won't win. Take Care of Business Tie up any loose ends at home before getting on the plane. Finish your final paper, move out of your apartment and find someone to take care of your cat. It's no picnic dealing with logistics from 3,000 miles away. Pat Yourself on the Back Acknowledge your progress in adjusting to the new culture. Think of all that you have learned since the day you arrived. Recognize that, like other people who have lived in an unfamiliar country, you can and will make a successful adjustment to a new culture. Finally, Know when It's Time to Go Don't push yourself to stick it out if you are confident that you are not doing what you want to be doing. For more information on culture shock check out this Web site or read this article Avoid Being a "Cross-Cultural Casualty".

These nightmares are probably familiar to anyone moving to another country or embarking on a long journey. Although the reality is rarely as exaggerated as these scenarios, many people who venture abroad for work or study find that they are not well-prepared for the challenges they face, or that the experience is drastically different from what they were expecting. Most often these difficulties are a common element of culture shock. But sometimes they are insurmountable, spurning major realizations and ultimately, the decision to leave the country or position.

Many people who spend an extended period of time abroad experience culture shock, which is generally defined as consisting of four major phases: an initial excitement, followed by loneliness, a period of adjustment, and finally, enthusiasm about culture and accomplishment within it. During the second and most difficult stage, after the thrill of being abroad wanes, the individual usually feels homesick, bored, irritable and tired. It is important to separate the symptoms of culture shock from the more weighty realization that you are not where you want to be, and that you want to leave the country.

Brian Cross, 23, left his position trading stock options electronically for Botta Derivitives, GmbH in Frankfurt, Germany, after only five months. He had expected to stay for about a year, but felt that "the work was too divested of any purpose other than the acquisition of money." Cross majored in biology and philosophy at the University of Pennsylvania and never imagined going into finance. But when he received an email from the university's career services listserv, he applied for the position on impulse and accepted it, thinking it would be an interesting way to live abroad.

He worked for about ten hours a day in a small office with two other men, both of whom were significantly older than him and were already settled in Frankfurt. It was not the isolation and the long hours that made him decide to return home, though. Rather, it was something he described as the "towards which," or the feeling that the work he was doing was of no value to others or to him. "At the end of the day, we hadn't created anything or helped anyone; we had either made or lost money," he explained.

Although Frankfurt was difficult for Cross, in the end he said he was glad he did it. "Nothing went wrong, but I realized that the position was wrong in terms of the person I saw myself as," he says. "I am very lucky to have lived in another country; it's something I have always wanted to do." Cross now works for the Philadelphia nonprofit organization Children's Literacy Initiative, and is applying to medical school. "If you get the sense of fulfillment from what you do, then being abroad is ultimately more satisfying."

Like Cross, Alison Adams, 23, left her position abroad earlier than she had planned. But for Adams, it was not the work itself, but the challenges of living in a small town in Greece. Adams, a graduate student of classical archaeology at New York University, received a grant to work with five other archaeology students and a leading archaeologist, cataloging recently recovered works.

The journey itself shook her: Adams suffers from a fear of flying and speeding cars, so she was already distraught by the time she arrived at her hotel. She was also uncomfortable there. "'Hotel' was a relative term," she says. Unable to find products like Advil, she began to feel dangerously removed from the conveniences that were common back home.

Adams's frustration with small town living was compounded by her feelings of isolation. She arrived earlier than the other students and ended up spending most of her time either alone or with the archaeologist: "That was the biggest problem. When you're spending time with people at home you might get along fine, but when you have to be with them 24/7, you get a totally different perspective."

After two weeks, she decided to leave Greece. She realized that she was not at a point in her life where she was prepared to struggle through the unhappiness she felt there. Asked if she felt guilty about her sudden departure, she explained, "I'm not going to sit here and blame myself for things not going well." Many people who decide to leave their positions abroad would do well to adopt her attitude. Often the decision to leave one's position abroad is accompanied by a sense of guilt or failure. If you know that you are not doing the right thing for you, don't be afraid to leave, and don't blame yourself if you do.