Balancing Work and Family with an International Career
by Nina Segal
As a career counselor working with international issues, many of my clients deal with the personal implications and difficulty of having a career that involves working abroad. While all individuals face work-related sacrifices, the issues are greatly magnified with an international career.
The difficulties primarily emerge in three areas:
Concern about Health and Security Issues
Fear of disease or parasites can be a real issue, depending on which part of the world you will be working. It's important to assess your risk tolerance before you make your career choice. Likewise, crime or terrorism can also cause concern. As part of your research, talk to individuals currently in the field and tactfully ask about the impact such issues have on their lives. You might choose, for example, to work abroad in certain regions before you have children, or after they've reached a certain age.
Balancing Dual Careers
Many couples tackle this potential hurdle is by "making a deal" that allows each partner to take the lead in his/her career for a specified period of time. For example, if you are offered a post abroad, your partner may use this time to take a break from his or her job, take classes, do some consulting and otherwise get off the "fast track." After your stint overseas, it then becomes your partner's turn to choose a city to return to and pick the job of choice.
Being Apart from Friends and Family
One person with whom I spoke noted that two of her immediate family members passed away while she was overseas. Another talked of leaving her overseas job to care for her elderly mother.
I recommend that you speak with a career counselor, your family, your partner -- anyone who might be affected by your choice -- and brainstorm ways to deal with the issue of separation. For example, you might ask your family to make at least one trip a year to where you are posted, or to an in-between location. Having some action plans can help to alleviate anxiety by providing more of a feeling of control.
In the past, many employers have not been particularly sensitive these types of concerns, but this is changing. In order to retain their staffs and in recognition of the growing number of dual-career couples and elder care responsibilities, organizations are providing additional leave time, spousal career counseling programs and more rotations at "home" for their employees. See our Monster article "Family Life and the Job Abroad" for more information on this topic.
Don't think that moving your career abroad will result only in difficulties. Individuals have also noted the positive impact their move has had in their lives. One expat noted that "…having been overseas for five years brought me closer to my sister and mother. We argue less because we all know that I could depart for another country just about anytime." Another expressed gratitude for living overseas as a child and recalls that the experience brought his family together. Others have been pleasantly surprised that their spouse indeed found work, or decided that their time abroad was a good time to start a family.
After working with clients for over a decade, the only thing I have grown more sure of is that there are no easy solutions. My general advice is to realize that career choices don't have to be permanent, and rarely are. You might choose a career that involves work abroad in your twenties or thirties, but consider a career change later so that you can spend more time with aging parents, or at home with young children. Be creative and surely you will find ways to navigate the imbalance.
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